Sunday, August 12, 2012

the performer

A few small expectations:

Do not touch the money on the dresser until we are finished. And then do not count it, but rather trust that the envelope will be properly stuffed (and extra, I assure) as I may find it impossible to let you stop on schedule. Do know that this is listed first as any violation of this protocol will ruin the performance for me and you will not be invited to return.

Do not expect me to touch you. And especially do not act surprised or disappointed if I choose to keep a distance from you that you find puzzling or offensive or whatever adjective you might attach - remember, you are paid to perform to my specifications not to assess or criticize my reaction.

Do not recoil should I choose to touch you. And do not quibble with whatever body part I choose and whatever means of caress I offer. It is highly unlikely that I will use my tongue but if that were to happen please do not tremble (my tongue is extremely sensitive and a tremble will feel like an assault, like a tremor). In rare instances I may choose to spit at you, but do know that the intent will be non-aggressive and the spittle fine, perhaps comparable to a summer mist.

Do pleasure yourself before your performance. Several times, if need be. It can be quite distracting to witness the moistness down below as you writhe and gesticulate and prostrate (and while this sounds contrary to common understanding of the word prostrate, sounds like a sloppy word choice on my part, an egregious decision and to the detriment of what precedes, as we both surely know one poorly chosen word reduces the credibility of the author, gashes it wickedly, know that this word was chosen with precision and the explicit expectation that when you prostrate yourself I will be in as close a proximity as the very moistness I object to, so, yes, it will be quite distracting).

Do bathe luxuriously for a minimum of one hour and with the lotions and oils I have sent. This is non-negotiable. And I have added to the envelope accordingly, paying for this hour. Do believe me when I say I will notice the difference between forty five minutes and sixty.

Do not touch me. And should you forget do not act surprised when I slap your hand, perhaps forcefully. If I initiate contact and voice encouragement then you may touch me. And you will do well to mirror, and under no circumstances exceed, the pressure I apply to you.

Do memorize all words you have to say. I expect you to be available to provide eye contact at all times and you will thus be unable to refer to notes. And if you prove industrious enough to discipline your blinking to six per minute, matching mine own, you will be properly rewarded. An hour with no break in contact, not even a microsecond? You will quickly become a favorite.

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